Welcome back to another fall of the McMisanthrope Top 25, where teams only get ranked the old-fashioned way -- they earn it ($1 to Smith Barney and John Houseman). But remember, these rankings have little weight so early in the season, so before mianderson gets his panties in a bunch, just fuckin' chill, bitches.
1. USC (1-0): They beat a BCS team by 45 points. Easily the top performance of the weekend. I don't know how any one could claim they aren't the best team in the country, right here, right now ($1 to Jesus Jones).
2. Alabama (1-0): So they beat Clemson. Everybody does that in games that matter. Little Nicky is back! But the question really is this: when will Tommy Bowden get the boot?
3. Missouri (1-0): Wow, they can't play defense, can they? Or is Juice just that good? Nope. They can't play defense. Oklahoma will SHRED them when the time comes.
4. UCLA (1-0): They beat an allegedly good SEC team. Not much else to say here but what's already been said: the Pac-10 is better than the SEC.
5. Cal (1-0): They beat a BCS team, which is more than a lot of teams this week can claim. But it was just self-defeating Sparty, so ... it don't mean a lot right now.
6. Stanford (1-0): Hey, Oregon State is better than all these other opponents below.
7. Oregon (1-0): Still better than beating a non-BCS team. Poor Ty ... he never should have left Stanford.
8. Oklahoma State (1-): Beating Wazzou on the road by 26 points is good enough for Week 1's Top 10.
9. South Carolina (1-0): Beating an ACC chump is not noteworthy, but at least they shutout a BCS team.
10. Wake Forest (1-0): Poor Baylor. They never should have left the SWC.
11. Fresno State (1-0): I would love to see two non-BCS teams crash the party this year, so here's to the 'Dogs.
12. Utah (1-0): Not much of an upset, but still another bad surprise in Ann Arbor.
13. Northwestern (1-0): Everyone beats the 'Cuse.
14. Florida (1-0): So now we're on to teams that scheduled non-BCS opponents. As for the Gators, they look fine. But poor Hawai’i. When will an SEC team ever travel to Honolulu to face them?
15. Wisconsin (1-0): They beat an FBS team, so they will automatically go ahead of any school that beat an FCS team. But they had to wait until the third quarter to really pull away. Not a good sign.
16. Ohio State (1-0): Now, we're onto the teams that merely beat 1-AA squads. They shut out their FCS opponent, unlike other teams lower on this list. And Youngstown State is no FCS weakling. Or is it now that Tressel isn't there anymore? Put this one on the list of favors paid.
17. Oklahoma (1-0): Pardon me, boy, was that the Chattanooga choo choo? Track 57, boy, you can gimme a safety! I can afford to brat a Chattanooga choo choo; I've got my fare and just a few points to spare.
18. LSU (1-0): While they played an FCS team, they at least played the FCS champs. And they did what they should have done: win big. But beating an FCS team isn’t like beating an FBS team. And it’s not like beating a BCS team, either. And even the second-team defense should be able to hold an FCS team scoreless.
19. Georgia (1-0): Maybe this is the trend -- play an FCS team, but play a “good” one? Just don’t cough up 21 points on defense, however.
20. BYU (1-0): At least Northern Iowa had a semi-pulse. Or did they?
21. Arizona State (1-0): Regional matchups as a favor need to end. I am stealing this idea off RSFC (can't remember who wrote it?), but they should have pre-season interconference series every year between BCS teams.
22. Texas Tech (1-0): Ugh, these early schedules are paining my heart.
23. Texas (1-0): When is Mack Brown going to get bored in Austin?
24. Kansas (1-0): Ditto. Since Kansas was screwed last year, hopefully they will learn for the future like K-State never really did.
25. Auburn (1-0): Ditto, although from an SEC team, it's merely business as usual. As these SEC teams see the Vols get their hats handed to them two years in a row on the Best Coast, there's NO way this trend is going to change -- thereby making most SEC teams merely .500 squads against real opponents.
Also receiving consideration due to their cupcakes scheduling: South Florida, West Virginia, Penn State
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